Now see – this is why I don’t do dates, or try to get involved with anyone romantically
I had a date on Sunday night – was a little out of the blue and I was really hesitant about saying yes, but it took me surprise, sort of
I saw the profile of someone who goes to my gym online and thought I’d say hi – I thought he was cute, but am always on the lookout for new friends, so primarily thought it’d be nice to get chatting to someone who workouts at the same place
When he replied, the conversation turned quite flirty – which I’m not complaining about, he’s a sexy looking guy
Then after chatting for a while he asked me to call him, which I did – we chatted for about half an hour then I got off (bloody pay as you go phones grrrrr)
I noticed he was online again on the Sunday evening so said hullo – he asked me to call again, so I said “you call me, I’ve run out of credit” (embarrassingly) – he then asked my number, which I have to say got alarm bells ringing – I’d spent half an hour on the phone with him the night before, even if he hadn’t stored my number it surely must still be in his call register
Now here I’m going to digress a little – I have this sixth sense when it comes to people who appear to be interested in me
I suppose you could just say I don’t trust anyone – it’d be understandable – but I do, I just wait for them to prove to me that I can’t trust them and, invariably, they do
It’s little things that I pick up on that mean I’m not really of that much concern to them – like, for example, the fact this guy couldn’t even be bothered to check his phone for my number from the night before
I can smell a lie a mile off and it’s alarming how often I smell them
And I can pretty much predict the way most encounters will end – now the smug amongst you will be thinking “hmmmmm self-fulfilling prophecy”, but I don’t accept that – I’m very careful about how I play things – I make sure I’m charm itself on a date, and (on the rare occasions I have them) I make sure I play them all differently
When it comes to sex, I have no complaints – if I end up having sex with someone after a date, it’s normally pretty good – of course the trouble is with men is that while their balls are full, everything is wonderful – as soon as they’re emptied this sense of guilt, boredom, tiredness or whatever the accompanying feeling is sets in – and that’s when it all goes pear shaped
Anyway – back to the original story – I gave him my number and he called – we chatted for a while and then he asked if I fancied going over to his for a coffee – now by this time I’d already settled in and eaten my way through a plate of bread rolls and 2 cakes, so was feeling a bit fat and lethargic, but against my better judgement said, yes I’d love to – plus it’d give me a chance to work off the crap I’d eaten by cycling over to his place
Then he said why didn’t we go for something to eat – a lovely idea, but let’s wait a couple of hours for my cake to go down!
We met up – he was sweet – we went for a meal – lovely – everything was perfect – even the part when I plucked up the courage to tell him my status - deep breath – drop it in – he was too!! Excellent! That’s always such a relief
The meal was lovely – thought we didn’t actually eat much – I think I was still bloated from all the rubbish I’d eaten earlier – then we headed back to his – it was my intention just to get my bike and come home – I never make the assumption that we’ll have sex on a first date – mostly because, I’ve dropped the HIV bombshell and like to give them chance to digest that and see where they want to take things – but obviously that wasn’t an issue here
We sat and chatted a little on the return to his apartment and then began to kiss – needless to say we ended up in the bedroom
The sex was lovely – for many years sex has been a real chore for me. Years of taking all kinds of recreational drugs had turned it into a kind of marathon event that needed to be endured rather that just enjoyed – but now having, hopefully, got drugs out of my system I was starting to enjoy the intimacy of it all a bit more
It was unfortunate that I felt so bloated though – although it was lovely, I don’t generally like having sex after I’ve eaten as I always feel like my stomach is going to explode – and, frankly, was terrified of farting all the way through
Anyway ...
After we’d finished it was getting on for 1145pm and he’d already told me he had to be up for 430am – he was a flight attendant and had a week of early flights ahead of him – and he said he’d like me to stay
Now – had I realised I was going to be staying out I would’ve prepared for it, but I hadn’t left any food for the cats so really had to come back to feed them – also I would never have slept that first night in a strange bed KNOWING that I’d have to cycle back home at 430 in the morning – so I said, that I would love to, but really had to get back – I did explain why and that I would love to stay over next time, if he wanted there to be a next time – I certainly did – he said he did too (oh boy, they’ll say anything won’t they? )
Anyway – the next day, I’d hoped to hear from him – I’d had a lovely time and hoped he had too – I didn’t, but was determined not to message him as I’d, so far, done all the running – I didn’t hear from him, although I did see he was online at the same time as me and was a little hurt that he didn’t say hullo
The following day, it rained, we’re in the middle of a really hot, sunny spell at the minute so it was a stark contrast from the weekend – I knew he was flying to Spain that morning so sent a text saying, quite cutely I thought “bring some sun back with you please xx”
That was two days ago and I haven’t heard anything from him – although he keeps logging on – I can’t bring myself to message him anymore, because even if we do meet up again, I’ll feel it’s just because he feels pressured into it
Needless to say, in the beginning I wasn’t that bothered, but as there now seems to clearly be no interest on his part, I’m hurt – I’m weird!!
Couple of interesting things that came out of this liaison
1) Turns out that he’s going to be flight attendant on our flight to gran canaria in 3 weeks – so that won’t be awkward at all!!
2) He spent a lot of time talking about his ex partner – which was fine, I was quite happy to hear about him – until, partway through the conversation, I realised that I knew his ex – in quite an intimate way – he’d (on more than one occasion) been one of the marathons I’d endured whilst on recreational drugs
And when that comes out – that won’t be awkward either!!
Why is nothing ever simple??
During the course of the conversation it came out that he was best friends with a good friend of a friend of mine, so it turned out we had someone in common (apart from the sleazy exboyfriend that is)
Completely out of the blue this friend of MINE called last night, so I mentioned that we’d been for a meal – for some reason this seemed to be a green light for him to tell me all kinds of personal (and not very pleasant) things about the guy – I asked him to stop, but clearly he thought I was joking as he carried on anyway
Now if ANY of those things he said were true (and I really wish I hadn’t heard them) it only confirms to me that I was just a dalliance for the evening
I’d been beating myself up, thinking I should’ve stayed the night and things would’ve been different
When really it turns out that I’m a) not rich and b) not a black man with a big cock!!!
I don’t think what my friend told me was anything more than malicious gossip, but it does add another dimension to the myriad of reasons as to why he’s not bothered to get back in touch with me
I can console myself with the certain knowledge that, had this relationship gone any further, I would’ve ballsed it up anyway
So who needs it? Certainly not him clearly – and not me...........honestly!
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